Homesick

Recently, Amelia told me to play a song she had heard called "Homesick" by Dua Lipa. Ironically, I too had stumbled upon the same song in a YouTube rabbit hole. Amelia is my mini-me so I am not surprised we both love the song. The words really hit me today and thus created a space for me to write.

HomeSick by Dua Lipa lyrics:

Here, where the sky's falling
I'm covered in blue
I'm running and I'm crawling
Fighting for you
When the rain stops, then, darling
What will I do?
And I know I go all in
But why do I?

You give me a reason, something to believe in
I know, I know, I know
You give me a meaning, something I can breathe in
I know, I know, I know
It's a bittersweet feeling
Longing, and I'm leaving
I go, I go, I go
But I wish I was there with you
Oh, I wish I was there with you

There's a crack in my window
A bird in my room
Angels all over
That watch over you

Those words are very powerful to me right now. Most of you know that I work and live in the Deaf/Hard of Hearing world in which Amelia brought me into 11 years ago. I have been dealing with some powerful people in my work life who do not see my program's value nor my value as even a person. Over these past few months I have wanted to run, let go, & give up. However, I did not come this far and learn tough life lessons to sit in silence....... it's just not an option for me. They may have power, but I have will power. "I'm running and I'm crawling. Fighting for you" Amelia and other children like you. Those of you who know me know that I speak in lyrics and love music. I saw a phrase the other day that says, "You can cage the singer but not the song." That is where I feel like I am right now, in a cage, but my message, my story, & my truth will get out through the "crack in my window or "A bird in my room" because there are "angels all over that watch over you."

Since I started this blog to keep you informed of Amelia I will give you an update on her. She is in 5th grade & will start middle school next year!  She is mainstreamed, but has a 504 plan with accommodations such as the FM system. Her hearing has been stable all of these years, however we know that could change at anytime.  I learned to not live in fear on that cliff. For those of you who are new friends to our story, our family has the gene for hearing loss. Peter's Grandparents were Deaf & signed. Amelia has moderate/severe bilateral sensorineural hearing loss which we found out about shortly after birth. Colin was late identified at 4y with bilateral sensorineural hearing loss mild high frequency only. Amelia spent years at the Atlanta Speech School & our family spent years making sacrifices to make sure Amelia could communicate with us  & the rest of the world. She deserved what everybody deserves........a "voice."  Amelia can be labeled many things: beautiful, Hard of Hearing, stubborn, fierce, but above all she carries a label that was meant for her.........a fighter.