Amelia: 1st day of Kindergarten (1st day of the rest of her life)

Many important events have happened over the last few weeks. I have not wrote about them, because one, I have had writer's block and secondly, sometimes it's hard to put emotions into words.

The first day of school is a memorable day for children and parents. Everyone snaps a photo of the kids at the bus stop. Some parents shed tears. Some parents jump for joy. The day Colin, my first born, boarded that bus I felt like a part of me drove away. I was fearful he would get lost or stolen. He had been just mine for so long. The day Kendall, my 2nd child, boarded that bus I knew she was not going to be lost/stolen, but I worried if she would adjust. She does not handle transitions quite as well. A few weeks ago, I had the task of watching my 3rd and final child board that bus. I would think that the last child, the baby, would be emotional for any parent. I found myself in a conflicting state. You see I worried my 3rd child would never make that bus. When you have a child born with special needs priorities change and dreams sometimes run off the road. In the beginning, I didn't even know how I was going to communicate with a Hard of Hearing child. I felt like I had to say lots of goodbyes to her in her early years. She missed neighborhood playgroup and "mommy school" (co-op preschool, homeschool), because she had to go for speech therapy. She never got to stay at home with me as much as the other kids. I have watched how she yearns to be with her siblings. So you see I am happy she is boarding that bus. It's an accomplishment to be mainstreaming. On the other hand, I am sad. Sad she is leaving me before we ever had long enough..do we ever have long enough?

New Hearing aids-Amelia also got her new hearing aids recently. That was emotional...another happy and sad moment. She traded her baby pink ones for big girl blue & pink. I am happy because she loves them. She immediately said the newer technology ones were different.."good different." We went to the ice cream shop afterwards to celebrate and she said "It's loud in here." The aids have built-in FM systems so that the teacher can communicate with her directly. The teacher uses a microphone system and it goes straight into Amelia's ears. (I have attached a picture.) The sad news is it costed almost $9,000. The price tag is shocking. Most insurance companies do not cover hearing aids for kids although some are starting too. Ours now covers $3,000. Many states have passed legislation to require insurance companies to pay for them. We have been involved with Let Georgia Hear which is trying to get this same type of bill passed in Georgia. My dear friends and founders of Let Georgia Hear, Kelly & Sara, have made great progress. UnitedHealthcare Children's foundation gave us a grant for $5,000 as well. I get sad when thinking about families that will get the news that their child is deaf. They will be told that they have options like signing & technology. They will be shown all the wonderful technological advances that have allowed the hearing world to become more accessible to Deaf/HOH children. Then they will be heart-broken when they see the price tag. The price tag that really makes you feel trapped. Like you don't have a choice unless you are really rich. The price tag that makes you feel desperate. It's cruel that all this technology exists yet it is way too expensive for the majority of families to afford.

Meet and Greet- I thought about leaving this out in fear of offending her teacher if she might read it. But it's my feelings and my blog.We requested Amelia to have the same Kindergarten teacher as Kendall, because she had all the qualities we thought Amelia would need in a Kindergarten teacher. When I walked in the classroom for "meet and greet" day, I was surprised to see the deaf/HOH teacher and the county audiologist. Honestly, I thought we were going to be two weeks into school before getting Amelia's FM system and IEP in place. So when they showed up, I was surprised, but happy they were going to make me feel less stressed. I quickly understood and saw how it stressed the teacher out though. It was the wrong timing. It was meet and greet and the compassionate teacher wanted to assure and comfort all Kindergarteners and their parents. The teacher was visibly upset. It was very jarring to switch hats and be the one who is trying to comfort and understand when I just wanted to be the parent. The parent who needed to be told Amelia will be taken care of and all will be good. The teacher and I talked a few days later and cleared the air. I understood her point of view, but it made for a few rough days for me. I was worried about Amelia's first day. I was, in blunt honestly, a little offended by what had happened at meet and greet. I know that the teacher did not mean it, but I felt like she was upset that she was going to have my child in her class. That is was going to stress her out and in return that stressed me out. It was a hard pill to swallow when it seemed in the heat of the moment that someone was stressed about having MY child. How do you think I felt holding a three month old and being told she is Hard of Hearing? I have lived with this child for 5 years. I have put hearing aids on and off multiple times a day. I have sat in traffic for 2 to 3 hours a day to take her to speech therapy five days a week. I know what it is like!!..and in that lies the real truth. The teacher did not "know what it was like." She was just overwhelmed of the newness of having a child with hearing aids and it was the wrong time for the county to come in. Having got all that emotion out. Let me say that I am pleased and cannot say enough praise about the teacher and the county audiologist! They have emailed me several times and have stayed on top of Amelia's needs. They have been wonderful!!!

1st day of Kindergarten-For Amelia it was the first day of Kindergarten, but also the first day of the rest of her life. There would be no small classroom sizes. There would not be friends with hearing aids and implants like she was use to at Speech School. It was the real world. It was the first day of the rest of her life. That morning I got many sweet texts checking in on me. Guess what? I handled Amelia's first day better than my other kids. I got an email from the teacher late morning that said, "she is doing awesome!" Amelia has gone to school/therapy for so many years. She loves routines and the challenge. I was just worried about her struggling to hear and... her heart. Kids will be mean. Above all, kids at that age are curious. I wondered how many times she was going to get the question about her hearing aids. She does well explaining them with confidence...might I add. She had a great first week at school. Home was a different story. We have been butting heads. Her attitude has been trying to say the least. She could possibly still be adjusting or maybe I am kidding myself. She is a stubborn October baby.

So the past few weeks have seen highs and lows....but so life goes.